Tuesday, September 2, 2008

grief

My husband, trying to be helpful really, tells me I need to move on. I know through my own medical background that it is different for each of us dealing with grief.
I am not ready to "move on". I have better days than I used to, but it is still with me most every moment of everyday. I miss her and that is the human in me. My brain tells me she is so happy now. My brain knows that someday I WILL understand. My brain tells me I need to be about God's work so that someday I can be with her.
My heart just misses my little sister. The one that i fed, changed diapers for, took for haircuts, shopped for clothes, watched go through dating and marriage, and helped have babies. so much more than even all that. I talked with her almost daily. And for all of this, I know Annette has to miss her more.
I can't move on. Not yet.

3 comments:

Holly J Sellars said...

I am glad to see you are healing! I love you and all that you are! You are such an amazing woman. You still inspire me.

Shana said...

You are truly a beautiful person. I love your blog. Thank you for telling me about it. And writing through your grief might be helpful by giving you a chance to express your feelings without interruption.
OH! I almost forgot--HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I hope that it is a bright, fun day for you, surrounded by family and friends.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for including me I really enjoyed your blog and all the information on what is going on with your family. I know your birthday was good but I also know there was a missing part. The first's are always the hardest to get through. I know it's hard remember I love you and your family.