Saturday, February 9, 2013

happy birthday doug

Today is Doug's birthday. I am now married to a 60 year old man. I wouldn't have it any other way. I met him when I was 18 years old. He was my boss. He was the best nurse I'd ever met.  I learned so much about real patient care from watching and assisting him. I am so lucky that he fell in love with me, married me, and wanted a large family just like I did.  He has supported me in the way I thought it was right to raise babies and breastfeeding as long as I thought it should be done. He supported me in all my career choices. Any time I have been sick, or had surgery, he has taken care of me like no one else could have. He has always had a work ethic that meant he knew he had to work, knew the kids needed a parent, and adjusted as he needed to.
Is he perfect--no way!  Still smokes, still knows I hate that he does.  Still knows the thought of being without him scares me to death and when he smokes that's all I think of.  Still knows he needs to loose wt and exercise.  Still cusses more than I like. Still gets impatient. But if he was perfect, then I'd look really bad.

Loved him then, love him still, always have, always will.

Wishing my back was healing faster.  Pain and asking for help are not things that go well with me. I hate taking drugs, they make me drowsy for days. My blood sugar is still wacky from taking steroids.  I am going to just give in and go see and endocrinologist and start all over. The one I have now is just not what i need.
Teenage drama, again.  You'd think I'd be an old hand and it wouldn't bother me as much.  I love each one of my children so much.  The pain they can cause me is so intense. But I decided long ago, I'd never give up on any of my children, no matter what. I give them up to God every night.  I know i have know no real control over anything.
Stopping the worrying is the hard part. I know the Bible says it over and over that we shouldn't worry.  That is one of my struggles. And just like God, he gave me a nudge yesterday, on facebook with the scripture I needed.

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