I recently started on labor and delivery at Vanderbilt. My first day on the floor I had to do a c/section. As an old nurse, this was fairly routine. Until I had a glance at the suction canister. I won't go into detail, but it threw me back 2 1/2 years. I was in the c/section that Evette had with Blake. AT the time, it was a beautiful thing. I got to take care of my sister. I was there to know she had the best care. Breena was helping circulate. The best for anesthesia, Charles. The best team working one her. I remember Sandra was there but sorry I forget who scrubbed. Dr Blake has always been a favorite of mine. She delivered Amanda, and Evette was (14 at the time), was there to watch that delivery of mine.
I knew she was loosing a lot of blood by watching the suction canister. I really knew when I saw Charles starting a second line. But I was calm and confident in those I worked with.
I ended up giving her 2 units of PRBC the next day.
I was honored to be there for it all. I loved helping that baby stay with his mom and dad. Annette stayed and got to be there for it all.
All this came to me in that OR at vandy, and I almost lost it. I explained to the nurse orienting me, and I got through the moment.
Yesterday I worked with Debra Wage, CNM. She delivered Brette and Sydney. Debra and I had a great working relationship. I really respected her practice, how she treated her patients, and that she PROVED babies can come out without a lot of cutting and tearing, over and over again. She's great. She's what I wanted to be when I grew up, but then I had 6 kids and plans changed. Working with her brought back so many more memories. I was with Evette and Jason when they had Syd. Evette was in the bathroom and said, "it feels like I really need to break my water", I said ok...., go for it I guess. She grunted a little and her water broke. Only time I have ever seen that in 26 years of doing this.
I helped her with breastfeeding each child. I remember with Brette Jason called like 6 am, wanted to know how early I'd be over to help more.
I miss that, being needed by her, but also just being with her.
I know I will never forget her, or stop missing her. Right now it just really hurts so much.
1 comment:
Wow. She grunted and broke her own water...that's incredible! Talk about being aware! You write so well about Evette and what it means to be a family and share all of the moments together--the challenges, fears, and joys. It's great that you are working through your grief so deliberately. I learn a lot from your posts.
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