recovering

After an awesome family vacation. A few days home to recover. And I was all set to go back to work! Wrong. Woke Sunday morning in plenty of time to make it to class and church. However, my head was busting, my throat sore, each breath sent burning sensations through my nostrils up through each sinus and seemingly out my ears. Breathing was no fun. I returned to bed.
Several hours later my husband decided maybe NyQuil might help. I think I woke long enough from that to make SURE I CALLED WORK**JUST FOR YOU BETSY***, then collapsed into a stupor once more. The next 24 hours I was up to go to the bathroom once or twice and totally out of it the rest of the time. I made it to the couch once, for a couple of minutes. My eyes wouldn't stay open and my head was killing me, so back to bed I went. No now 3 days after it began, my mind is returning to normal. Of course it is now 2am. I have to be quiet. I want to be asleep so I can be awake with the normal people. Have I mentioned I hate being sick? I loose days so quickly that way. Its beginning to become clear that ......I am down to 2 kids in regular school! 2, only 2. how did that happen? only two room fees, two sets of school supplies etc. wow.''

of course the others haven't gone away. and they are in college. one getting married. doesn't mean my life will be less hectic. just sounds funny thinking about only 2 parent/teacher meetings. 2 report cards. 2 getting there on time, etc.

Another birthday

Today would have been her birthday. She would have been 36. Hard to believe. Hard to believe my age, how old she would have been, and that time has passed since we lost her.

Today we met at the Red Tree to make some plans for Ashley's wedding. She would have loved it. Blake, Brette, and Olivia and Cory stopped by briefly with Jason E. Little knife stabs every time I look into those sweet faces.

Olivia decided some time ago to be baptized today. Brette and Olivia are only 3 weeks apart.

Those two babies, and their mom's got to share some very special times. My sisters had a very special bond. No matter how many years passed, I would never have that same bond with either of them. But, the bond I had/have grew from "the spoiling sister, the surrogate mom, the older sister", into a friend/sister bond. The 3 of us talked almost daily. If a day or two had gone by one of us would call and say "why haven't you called me". Like most siblings we had spats. But never major.

I miss her aches, pains, spots, bumps, bruises, random things that she wanted to know what I thought about it but didn't do what I told her to about. I miss seeing her grow older. Mostly, I just miss the very essence of her.

My kids miss her calling them and tell them what she thinks they should be doing, wearing, or who to date.

I look forward to heaven. Seeing her stamp on it! You know she has had to rearrange something, organize something, or take care of someone.

36 years ago I was hoeing weeds. Beside my brothers, waiting on the birth of the first of my sisters. Living in a house with no bathroom, no air conditioning, and a bed in the living room. I didn't know how poor we were, or what we were missing. Not sure we had a phone, it came and went. Party lines were in use and some times I walked up steep hills to make calls. Mom had been working as a waitress at Shoney's throughout the pregnancy.

Now, mom has a degree in nutrition, a dietitian now retired. Dad breeds black Angus with procedures that cost more than we lived on then. My house has 4 bathrooms, way too many to clean. My kids think they are deprived because of all they know they don't have. Most everyone I know has their own phone in their pocket. No one walks unless they have to for the exercise.

Today, I'm helping plan my oldest daughters wedding, and going to a baptism. Life goes on no matter if I want to get off and rest or not.

I still see Evette in so many ways, daily. My heart still hurts, thinking about things not said or done. I continue to function, aimlessly at times; Trying to keep God in front of me, and keep moving ahead.

do you know how to make clean water?

My second trip to Haiti had fewer medical people on the plane, but some very important people just the same. One of these was a guy named Trey. Trey liked to say he was just a good 'ole boy from Alabama. But he was much, much more than that. He was known as the "clean water guy". Basically he travels all over the world setting up clean water systems. I didn't get to see him in action at the orphanage, or at any of the other places he went to. But, I did get to see him in action at our clinic. The clinic likes to have one of us teach a short lesson every morning. When I did mine the first trip it was on STD's and how if you keep getting them your partner needs treated, and how infections can also affect pregnancies. I didn't choose the topic but I winged it anyway.



I had heard Trey talking some about the clean drinking water thing, so I mentioned it to Yannick, and volunteered him to teach the next day. Fortunately, he was more than willing. To sum it up, any clear plastic drink bottle can be used, if in good shape and has a lid. You fill it with water, if you can see your hand through the bottle then it is clear enough. Put the lid on and place it where it will get direct sunlight. After 6 hours, the water is safe to drink. The locals were so interested, they asked many questions. You can imagine, no way to cook, so how would you boil water? He also told them how to make re hydration solution with water, sugar and salt. Again, they hung on to his every word. I felt like more than all the medicine we gave them that day, Trey's talk helped them the most.

The little girl in this picture was very mad at me. We had lots of tetanus/diphtheria vaccine. I had just given her a shot and she was one unhappy camper. I'd bribed her with candy, a toy, nothing made her happy. She was even mad at her mom for letting me do it!

The last picture is the team I went with the second trip, plus a few others. Three doctors, me, and a wonderful non-nurse but trained in surgery help in all ways person. The picture also has Greg hidding in the back, and his son Dustin. Marilyn, a friend of Greg's from Townsend, Tn, is also pictured. Each and everyone worked hard all week in some way. Yannick of course is in the picture because she is at the clinic everyday. Garleen, another who runs the clinic, had gone back to the states by this day.

You never knew what you would see each day at the clinic. It ranged from malaria, typhoid, headaches, diabetes, to broken bones, car wrecks, and so so much malnutrition. Can you believe we had no vitamins to give out? I felt so inadequate not having any especially for the pregnant women.
I have to keep reminding myself, I wasn't there to cure anyone. I was there to show them the love of the only one that matters, God. I never really learned how to say, "God bless you", but I had Fermega, my interpreter, say it for me. I know I was blessed by being there.

Haiti in my heart

Haiti keeps popping in my head. Random memories that I otherwise had forgotten. My first trip to Haiti was 3 weeks after the earthquake. Our group was wired and ready to jump in to whatever we found. Instead, God made us wait for 2 days before we were able to touch our first patient. I am not sure at the time any of us felt grateful for the delay. Each of us had such a heart to serve: One of our doctors served as an electrician; one doctor helped unload food to the point he became dehydrated; several of us helped with the massive feeding of the neighborhood; a paramedic/college administrator became an expert driver in Haitian traffic; so many more stories. Each of us stepped outside our normal comfort zones in so many ways.

One woman came to our clinic with a hand that she had been told was not broken. The middle finger appeared ready to fall off. She could barely use the hand. She said her house had fallen on her during the earthquake. She also lost three children. Because of her tears, and the language barrier, I didn't ask if that was her entire family.

The doctor I was with was very concerned the finger was gangrenous. He asked another doctor to look at it. I was given the task to soak and debreed it. We gave her a Percocet for pain. In the U.S. she would have probably had Morphine! After soaking for 30-45 minutes in a made up soak of peroxide and betadine, I got to work. She had brought copies of her x-ray of her hand. After the doctors looked at it closely it turned out she had two broken areas. The end of her middle finger was one of them. As I removed the worst layers it was great to find it was not gangrene.

I was being very slow, and careful with her hand. I was so afraid of causing the amazingly strong woman more pain. At one point I felt her hand on my shoulder, she looked me in the eyes and nodded her head. She wanted me to know it was ok to pull the skin off her finger. She was reassuring me that I wasn't hurting her. I was so humbled. I can only imagine what it felt like having several inches of skin pulled off an injured hand.

For her rehab I found a bulb syringe used for wound irrigation. I told her how to squeeze it to get exercise, and several other finger movements.

I am not a doctor, I am not a physical therapist, I am not a nurse practitioner. For anyone worried about it, I always put NURSE on my name badge. I wish I had more knowledge, and more initials behind my name. Then I could do more.

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long time no blogging....

My oldest daughter has reminded me several times that I am way behind in blogging. I apologize. I can only write when I feel like it. These are from Easter 2010. I am in scrubs because I had just gotten off work. The bed is in the Living room, because my mother had stayed in our living room after her hip surgery. Yes there is one kid not usually here, taylor, a friend of steph's. And missing is Amanda, she is still in L.Al

Usually when I return from my mission trips....

I find it kinda funny I can start my blog with the statement, Usually when I return from my mission trips..... Funny because 10 years ago I had not yet been on one trip. I always had an interest in going, but because of all those babies, I couldn't go. I've now been on 10 trips, I think.

Whenever I went to Mexico, I almost always returned excited. excited to share pictures, stories, and the way I felt about the trip. I would have pictures printed out the next day, or at least before the next Sunday, to share at church. Even the first year, when I returned very angry. I was angry at my world, my children, myself. Angry because we had so much and yet were so ungrateful. But even then, I wanted to share so much.

Haiti is different. I don't think it is just the earthquake and the destruction it caused. I went to help after Katrina and didn't feel this way. After both of my trips now, its taken a while before I could really start talking about it. It's not that the people are all walking around crying or sad, because they aren't . The children don't look deprived, even though they are. No one is lying on the floor saying feed me, they are beyond that. There is so much that needs done. Maybe I am overwhelmed. I try hard not to be. I know I am but one person. But truthfully, with each patient I see, I try to treat them as if they are the only one I have to treat. I can't give them money, a job, a future, but I can give them the dignity and respect most all humans deserve.

I do leave there wondering what more I can do. Not what more can millions of dollars do, or millions of people do, but what can I do. I have a plan to train the Haitians, like nurse aide training. But no idea if I will ever be able to have the time off to really do the training.

The picture of the smiling woman links my 2 visits. She came to me the first time pregnant. She was about 30 weeks. With her first 2 pregnancies she had became ill and lost each one. She wanted us to do a c-section while this one was still alive so she could have a live babe. I tried to do what I could. I sent her for an ultrasound, but the results didn't show us she was far enough along we could safely deliver the baby. When I went back, there she was! Her baby was only a few days old. She was so happy to bring her to see me! She shows me there is hope, hope for Haiti.