Another birthday

Today would have been her birthday. She would have been 36. Hard to believe. Hard to believe my age, how old she would have been, and that time has passed since we lost her.

Today we met at the Red Tree to make some plans for Ashley's wedding. She would have loved it. Blake, Brette, and Olivia and Cory stopped by briefly with Jason E. Little knife stabs every time I look into those sweet faces.

Olivia decided some time ago to be baptized today. Brette and Olivia are only 3 weeks apart.

Those two babies, and their mom's got to share some very special times. My sisters had a very special bond. No matter how many years passed, I would never have that same bond with either of them. But, the bond I had/have grew from "the spoiling sister, the surrogate mom, the older sister", into a friend/sister bond. The 3 of us talked almost daily. If a day or two had gone by one of us would call and say "why haven't you called me". Like most siblings we had spats. But never major.

I miss her aches, pains, spots, bumps, bruises, random things that she wanted to know what I thought about it but didn't do what I told her to about. I miss seeing her grow older. Mostly, I just miss the very essence of her.

My kids miss her calling them and tell them what she thinks they should be doing, wearing, or who to date.

I look forward to heaven. Seeing her stamp on it! You know she has had to rearrange something, organize something, or take care of someone.

36 years ago I was hoeing weeds. Beside my brothers, waiting on the birth of the first of my sisters. Living in a house with no bathroom, no air conditioning, and a bed in the living room. I didn't know how poor we were, or what we were missing. Not sure we had a phone, it came and went. Party lines were in use and some times I walked up steep hills to make calls. Mom had been working as a waitress at Shoney's throughout the pregnancy.

Now, mom has a degree in nutrition, a dietitian now retired. Dad breeds black Angus with procedures that cost more than we lived on then. My house has 4 bathrooms, way too many to clean. My kids think they are deprived because of all they know they don't have. Most everyone I know has their own phone in their pocket. No one walks unless they have to for the exercise.

Today, I'm helping plan my oldest daughters wedding, and going to a baptism. Life goes on no matter if I want to get off and rest or not.

I still see Evette in so many ways, daily. My heart still hurts, thinking about things not said or done. I continue to function, aimlessly at times; Trying to keep God in front of me, and keep moving ahead.