first day of school, again

Today was the first day of classes. For those with Alzheimer's, like me, I did go last fall for the semester. I took 2 classes and did well for an old lady, an A and a B. I was excited about getting finished with school and becoming a nurse practitioner. My friend I had worked with in Xilitla, Dr Don, had very much encouraged me to go back to school.
When Evette passed away, my brain shut down. There was no way I could do school then. Amber and I both withdrew from spring semester. Since then I found an online college that seemed doable. I signed up with them. When I got the first book and opened it my brain screamed "oh no". I just couldn't do it. I really wasn't sure I ever could go back, again.
Then came this year's mission trip. It cleared my head, and reaffirmed my heart, this is what I am meant to do.
When I serve others, I serve God, and I forget self. Only then can I forget my own heartache at the loss of my sister.
When we returned from the trip I began looking to see if I could get my scholarship back and get back on the school track. So with many hours spent in lines, it has all worked out.
Last night, for some reason, was the first really bad night I have had in a while. It was really a "big wave" of sadness. I ask Annette today if she could remember anything significant happening on these dates, but we both drew a blank. She thought it might have been when she and Ellen were baptized, but that was in June we learned. So I'm not sure why, but I know there will still be many more of them to come.
My day went well today. I do know that no matter what, even looking like the old lady nerd, I am getting a rolling back pack. I thought I was going to need CPR when I got to the last class, on the 3rd floor, with the 200lb back pack on my back. Forget looking like I fit in, I gotta be able to breathe when I get to class!!