FW: Old age

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From: Evonne <evonne6kid@gmail.com>
Sent: Sunday, September 07, 2008 4:48 PM
To: 6152947976@txt.att.net
Subject: Old age

Why is a soon to be 47 year old woman doing this to myself? My shins hurt walking far and fast between classes. My shoulders hurt from trying to get heavy books to class with me. And in the rain is adding insult to injury .
I know it is not for money. There is never enough no matter what our income . I just pray it is God's will, not my own. And, that he keeps me going.
It definitely is not about fun or social interaction, I am just an old woman among children.

What families are for....

Yesterday was a very busy day. It was unbelievable. It was chaos. I am sore and still tired. But above all, everything that needed to be done, was done.

It all worked because of our family.

Ashley's car needed to go to Nashville to be detailed, on of her birthday presents. Jason needed Blake to be watched while he did things including going tailgating for the Vandy game. Now some may not see that as a "have to" case. But the man is a single parent to 3 kids, he needed a break. I also had to pick-up t-shirts for Stephanie's volleyball game and then get to the game to keep score.

My mom had a very sick dog and had gone to Dickson, my dad had cow stuff including a showing at the fair, Annette had plans with her work friends. All 3 of my oldest had to work until 5-530.

Jason followed me to Nashville, brought me back home. Blake and I went to pick up t-shirts in Pleasantview. Amanda got off work early, went with me to Nashville to pick up Ashley's car. She then went to job #2. Kids get home and now I have Sydney also. Go to game to keep score. Ever tried keeping score for volleyball and hold a 2 year old??? Mrs. Mudd did most at this point as we are co-scorekeepers. My brother Joe arrived around 5, after working all day, to get Blake. He stayed a while and watched the game. When he left Jason's aunt had arrived their house to watch Syd. So Joe took Syd, Blake, and Matthew with him to his son's practice. Did I mention Andrew went to the Vandy game before Joe arrived? Around the time Joe was leaving the rest of my girls got off work and arrived at the game. They could have watched Blake and Syd, but they wanted to go with him.

A long post I know. But the point is, everything was accomplished because of our family. Was it easy? no way. Being there for each other is what family is all about. I have no doubt that Evette would be doing the same for me if she were still with us. We traded school pick up many times, ran errands, did whatever needed to be done.

Stephanie's team played really well by the way.

grief

My husband, trying to be helpful really, tells me I need to move on. I know through my own medical background that it is different for each of us dealing with grief.
I am not ready to "move on". I have better days than I used to, but it is still with me most every moment of everyday. I miss her and that is the human in me. My brain tells me she is so happy now. My brain knows that someday I WILL understand. My brain tells me I need to be about God's work so that someday I can be with her.
My heart just misses my little sister. The one that i fed, changed diapers for, took for haircuts, shopped for clothes, watched go through dating and marriage, and helped have babies. so much more than even all that. I talked with her almost daily. And for all of this, I know Annette has to miss her more.
I can't move on. Not yet.

more bd pictues

Blake got to make "2" points!. It was a large gathering, but everyone made it out alive. A good day all in all.

Ashley's birthday week, aka, she's 25 so I am freaking old!

Ashley's birthday was the 28th. Steph had a volleyball game so she and I couldn't help celebrate, and Doug was out of town working. So her sister and some friend and her all went out to eat on that night. Friday we headed to Huntville. We stayed free (thanks to Doug's points) at a hotel only 3 weeks old. Saturday morning we drove to Scotsboro to the unclaimed baggage store. It was less than we had expected. It's a place you have to "luck" into finding the good stuff. ON the way home we stopped at old time pottery and shopped some. We went to the local mall there but didn't buy anything. It was fun just getting out of town.

Today we had a party for her after church. Pretty much the whole family was here except for Rachel. (we miss you! ;( by the way). Her car is getting detailed on Tuesday for her main present. More shopping tomorrow for the rest.

Large family parties are fun, but never perfect.

Babies cry, adults squabble, kids run in the house, make to much noise, and students don't always pick up after themselves not matter what age. But hey, that's why families are fun.

first day of school, again

Today was the first day of classes. For those with Alzheimer's, like me, I did go last fall for the semester. I took 2 classes and did well for an old lady, an A and a B. I was excited about getting finished with school and becoming a nurse practitioner. My friend I had worked with in Xilitla, Dr Don, had very much encouraged me to go back to school.
When Evette passed away, my brain shut down. There was no way I could do school then. Amber and I both withdrew from spring semester. Since then I found an online college that seemed doable. I signed up with them. When I got the first book and opened it my brain screamed "oh no". I just couldn't do it. I really wasn't sure I ever could go back, again.
Then came this year's mission trip. It cleared my head, and reaffirmed my heart, this is what I am meant to do.
When I serve others, I serve God, and I forget self. Only then can I forget my own heartache at the loss of my sister.
When we returned from the trip I began looking to see if I could get my scholarship back and get back on the school track. So with many hours spent in lines, it has all worked out.
Last night, for some reason, was the first really bad night I have had in a while. It was really a "big wave" of sadness. I ask Annette today if she could remember anything significant happening on these dates, but we both drew a blank. She thought it might have been when she and Ellen were baptized, but that was in June we learned. So I'm not sure why, but I know there will still be many more of them to come.
My day went well today. I do know that no matter what, even looking like the old lady nerd, I am getting a rolling back pack. I thought I was going to need CPR when I got to the last class, on the 3rd floor, with the 200lb back pack on my back. Forget looking like I fit in, I gotta be able to breathe when I get to class!!

babies and bubbles

The Allison kids were here this week for an afternoon. After going to the pool then they wanted to come home and take a bath, go figure. I think it was the lure of the bubbles Ashley offered them. They are so cute. Be assured they were monitored at all times, even when cameras were out. After bath time brette tried on a few of the girls prom dresses. So of course then Sydney wanted to also. WE didn't let Blake do it at this time, Jason frowns on it for some reason.