Dealing with life and lots of kids!: May 2009

Monday, May 25, 2009

where am I now?

As the wedding date of Jason and Amy draws near, I seem to be the only one not able to be excited. Don't get me wrong, I want Jason happy. Amy is great. I could not have hand picked anyone else more perfect. They have bought a house close to me, that couldn't have been better. Now I can see the kids probably more than I want to, lol.
I think it just means moving on, and I just miss Evette so much I'm not ready to move on. I am glad she is in heaven. I know there are babies there that need her, and God needed her.
I know I am selfish. I needed her. She came into our lives at a critical time for me. She was a very bright star in a very dark world at the time. Annette doubled the brightness. They gave me a reason to be at home and a reason to laugh and smile while I was there. My parents are very different people now than they were then. They were both always good deep down, but were sidetracked for years. My sisters kept me from running away from home, I was afraid they would forget me because they were so young.
They kept me from doing things that might not have ended well, because I had to go home and take care of them. They went on dates with me. They told on me when I tried to not take them on dates. They gave me their honest opinion of my life because they were to young to lie.
They helped me raise my children. They built me up, they told me many times that I was the most patient person they knew. Evette was on the look out for potential "good" boyfriends at church and at church camp. Because she was always at camp my children went early and often. She trusted me with her kids also. Whe she had her kidney stone she wanted only me to bottle feed Brette. I think she knew I loved her unconditionally. When she told me anything that she thought might disappoint me about herself she was very quick to ask if I was upset with her.
We had a relationship like no other. Its different from mine and Annette's. Its different from mine and any of my daughters.
I search the bible, I read other blogs dealing with grief, I've talked with numerous counselors. And my friends are probably way over hearing anything about it. Time is all I can count on to dull the pain. God is all I can count on to heal my heart.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Andrew's 8th grade graduation

Andrew will be moving on to the high school next year, very hard to believe. My first boy will graduate in 4 more years. He received an award for all A and one B for the entire year. There were 5 that received all A awards. So only 6 total for grades out of the entire 8th grade class. He has a great group of friends that we have over at our house frequently, but I like it that way. The neighbors that get their yards rolled might not appreciate it as much, but I have it on good faith that they are being watched, lol. We went to Logans after the ceremony, they gave him a big "hee Haw", scared him a little when they started pulling his chair back.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Andrew'

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Field day 2009 3

Brette in the sack race.

Matthew looking really excited about this.......

field day 2009 2

Austin and a funny face.

Brette and Caroline, sack race.

Brette and a serious face.

matthew filed day 2009

Last field day at Kingston Springs Elementary School for us. Matthew wasn't really into it this year.

Sydney and Wendy posing.......

Ping pong ball race.

fishing

Matthew, amber, Sydney and I went fishing today.

Sydney caught a 3 inch one quickly. At first she didn't even want to touch a worm. Soon she was putting them on the hook, then getting the fish off. The last "worm" of the day she cast the line out all by herself, and look at what she caught! It scared us all! She was wayyyyyyy excited and so were Amber, Matthew and I!